Relationship

All posts tagged Relationship

Someone better.

Published 08/24/2014 by Neds Rocillo

How do we know if we deserve someone better?

Honestly, I don’t really know the answer. One of the mistakes I keep doing in my life is settling for less. I always settle for something less especially when it comes to relationships. I would always make excuses to why I don’t deserve the best where in fact, we all deserve nothing but only the best, right?

Have you ever heard of the lines:

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

“You don’t deserve someone like me.”

“The timing is wrong. Maybe someday.”

Thank God I haven’t heard any of those and hopefully not because if I do I’m gonna slap that person in the face and dump him right away and tell him that it’s BS because he just got those lines on romantic flicks which is undeniably and totally gay. And I think “You deserve better” line is synonymous to “I don’t want to hurt you, I want you to be happy but I don’t love you anymore”.

Recently, I realized that I have always been on the wrong end of unequal relationships and believe me, it feels terrible. I know that feelings of worthlessness, neediness and confusion suck. However, life has still it’s own way of making things funny. We may experience a lot of situations, heartaches and nonsense attachments but one thing is for sure, not all relationship ends in the same painful fashion. 

Yes my dear, there are lots of happy and healthy relationships out there so believe that you deserve one. 🙂 Love is not something we have to rush. Rush relationships are usually hit by accidents and just end. Make sense? 

Last night, a friend of mine asked me how do I have the guts to just shut people out of my life, let people leave if they want to or just move on after a breakup. Well here’s my answer, whenever people leave, I would always think that they’re actually doing me a huge favor. There’s this quote that says, “Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having”.

I hate hearing girls say that “I love him and the way he makes me feel.”  whenever they’re asked why do they want their guy back. He’s your boyfriend and how do boyfriends generally try to make their girls feel? Don’t you think you deserve someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated? 🙂 Don’t you realize that the person you haven’t met and would want to spend the rest of their life with you will do anything and his best to take your pain away instead of making it worse?

I bet you never thought of it that way because you are too busy going gaga about him. And when we’re crazy about someone, we usually tend to be blind. When I ended my relationship two months ago with the guy who keeps on saying he loves me but doesn’t do anything to prove it to me, I asked myself and maybe you should ask yourself too: Why go the rest of your life getting less than you give? When you do not get what you give then it’s time to give that relationship a cold, hard evaluation. This doesn’t apply on romantic relationships only okay?

This is why I said people are doing me a huge favor whenever they leave me. Because they may be closing their doors but they are also opening another for me. An open door where the right people are and the people I truly deserve, someone better.

<3,

Neds

1-50 Love Advice

Published 06/26/2014 by Neds Rocillo

FIRST STEP: Choose a number from 1-50

SECOND STEP: Scroll down and look for your chosen number below

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. There are a lot of fish in the sea.

2. You will find the perfect person who loves you as much as you love him/her.

3. He loves you so much!

4. Treat yourself like a prize.

5. Don’t let others influence your decision.

6. Stop seeking for love.

7. Stop kissing a lot of frogs to find your Prince.

8. He’s the one!

9. You control your ultimate happiness! not him nor her.

10. You have to learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

11. Know that love is worth it.

12. Remember the little things.

13. It’s worth fighting for!

14. Be a good listener.

15. Don’t be afraid to tell him what you feel.

16. Love yourself.

17. Know your worth.

18. Dare to reveal yourself fully.

19. Make your partner feel that you are understanding.

20. Never stop falling in love with the same person who’s in your mind and heart right now.

21. Don’t judge the person you love.

22. Forgive and move on.

23. Get on with loving and living. You don’t have forever.

24. Don’t give up.

25. Embrace change.

26. Tell him/her you love him/her!

27. Don’t cheat!

28. Stop nagging!

29. Let him/her do his own thing.

30. Compromise once in a while.

31. Think about your words first.

32. Don’t be scared to apologize.

33. Let him know how it feels to be let down.

34. Make sure you practice what you preach.

35. Be with someone who brings out the best in you.

36. Stop being an overly jealous partner! Trust is the key!

37. Never force yourself to have a space in anyone’s life.

38. Stop begging for love.

39. Be a woman a man needs.

40. Life is full of second chances.

41. You’ve got to do what’s right for you.

42. Fight for him not with him.

43. Don’t play hard to get! You might miss something.

44. Never touch a life – if you mean to break a heart.

45. You are so lucky to have him.

46. You’re way too young to be so bitter.

47. You may be right for each other, but that doesn’t mean you’re right for each other right now.

48. You gotta be fair to your partner.

49. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another.

50. If he doesn’t care, you might be missing out on someone who does.

 

 

 

P.S. This is my version of Marcelo Santos 25 typical love advice.

Love,

Neds

Vulnerable

Published 06/23/2014 by Neds Rocillo

Isn’t it amazing how a person who once was a stranger, suddenly meant the world to you? but what if, just what if, you felt that he’s not the one you deserve and that you deserve better?

You know at this age, the worst thing we can do to ourselves is to fall for someone harder than they fall for us. And if you’d ask me if I’m the one falling harder? the answer is yes. I’m always the one who loves more. I guess, that’s my thing.

Do you guys believe that communication is the key to a lasting relationship? For me, communication is as important as trust. But what would you do if your partner isn’t communicating? I’m in a relationship with this guy and I feel that I always frustrate him whenever I open up about how I feel. I want to be honest and I just want to tell him everything that’s going on in my mind because I believe that he’s the one I’m supposed to be telling everything. I’m not the typical girl who would open up to her friends about her relationship problems. So whenever I feel we have a problem, I would always talk to him because I’m under the impression that people in a relationship are supposed to solve problems by discussing them.

But somehow, our discussions would usually turn into arguments. And it would come to a point where both of us would have no idea what the initial discussion was about. The conversation would have turned so many corners that we’d need a map to get out. And the argument would usually end not understanding each others feelings. I realized that I have to stay away from having any discussion about anything that would upset him or me. I agree with almost everything he wants until now that I realized, I’m living his life not mine.

I’m now afraid.. afraid to communicate, to show my vulnerability and believe me, its a lonely place to be. But my love is stronger than my loneliness. A relationship isn’t about leaving when something goes wrong. It’s about being there for the good and the bad. I believe that we’ll just have to work through this. I hope I’m not wrong that love is strong, love is kind, and love sticks around.

Choose the man who…

Published 05/28/2014 by Neds Rocillo

1. Isn’t afraid to say I love you.

      Fact: All girls want a guy who says I love you every night and proves it everyday.

2. Loves and respects you as much as he loves and respects his mother.

       Fact: How a guy handles his lady is a reflection of the type of bond he has with his mother.

3. Isn’t too proud to admit he doesn’t want to lose you.

        Fact: The sad reality is that there are guys who are just afraid to tell you that you are not the one he has envisioned for his future, He just doesn’t want to lose your company or the comfort of having someone he likes to go out with. You are just easy and “good enough” to fill the time until that special woman comes along. 

4. Listens even when you think he isn’t.

         Fact: A woman is already in love with any man who listens to her.

5. Watches you sleep.

          Fact: When a woman feels safe enough to fall asleep with a guy means that the woman trusts them enough not to hurt them.

6. Kisses you on the forehead.

           Fact: One kiss on the forehead is sweeter than a thousand kiss on the lips. No lust but full of love and respect.

7. Would rather cut off his hands than put them on you.

           Fact: If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Always earn the respect you deserve.

8. Who isn’t too ashamed to keep calling you when you won’t take his calls.

           Fact: You want that. Aren’t you?

9. Can never refer to you as “the one who got away” because he always knew he couldn’t live without you.

            Fact: A real man never stops showing a girl how much she means to him even after he’s got her.

10. Will stand up for you no matter what.

            Fact: A man has two options in a relationship:

                       a.) Stand Up and be the man she needs or

                        b.) Sit Down so she can see the man behind him.

11. Will learn something new for you.

             Fact: A man who learns everyday would definitely teach his woman new lessons in life.

12. Brings out the best in you.

              Fact: We all want to be with someone who brings out the best in us and not the stress in us.

13. Respects your family and friends as much as he respects you.

Fact: He must love or at least respect the people you love.

14. Doesn’t just text you, but rather, will pick up the phone and call you because he needs to hear your voice.

                 Fact: He’s really into you.

15. Who shows you his softer side, and admits the things he’s most afraid of.

                 Fact: The man trust you enough to admit that he’s also afraid of some things. And he’s already giving you a part of him that you could possibly break; his heart.

16. Thinks you’re pretty without makeup.

                Fact: He loves you just the way you are.

17. Is patient with you.

                Fact: Love is patient.

18. Wants to show you off to the world whether you’re in sweats or an evening gown.

Fact: When a guy wants to show you off to the world when you think you are at your worst, he sees you differently.

19. Who speaks with love and not anger.

                Fact: Nobody wants a person who makes his mouth work faster than his brain, right?

20. Who doesn’t need to be told you need him, he can just tell.

                Fact: A real woman can do it all by herself BUT a real man won’t let her.

This post doesn’t want girls to think twice about their guy. Most guys aren’t showy so give him time or try to read between the lines. I also understand that girls have their “dream” guys. But I would rather pick the right guy rather than my dream guy. Girls, always remember that a real man knows what we need so stop focusing on what you “want”. If you focus too much on what you “wanted”, you can become blind to truly see him when he finally arrives.

And to all the boys out there, MAN UP! and love her UNCONDITIONALLY.

Thanks for reading! 😉

Stay.

Published 07/31/2013 by Neds Rocillo

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Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby.

Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life and hope that they will stay, forever.

Apathism.

Published 08/01/2012 by Neds Rocillo

Why ruin a perfectly good flower when you know he loves you not?

Trying not to cry while typing this. lol who cares? If I can ask a simple question, why do I make things so hard? I never learned just how to accept. In a way, I’m slowly trying to convince myself that I’m better off just being your best friend. I just have so many thoughts that relate to you lately, and all they do is circle in my head. I’ve had quite a bit of alone time lately, and I’ve just been thinking so much.  I think about how I consider myself to be fucked up because I still think of you. Today, in the shower I was thinking about how you’re not even the type of man I’d be looking for. I wouldn’t even consider you a guy to treat a girl right, and yet when I’m around you I’m willing to throw all of my expectations away because of the way you make me feel. I know it isn’t right, and I know I shouldn’t but it’s hard. Whenever we’re together, you make me happy. You make me actually happy and it’s never been anyone else for this long. When you are so close, I felt my muscles tense up and the nerves starting. sh*t, insane?yes. I think about what it’d be like to kiss you one day, and I become overwhelmed. It’s amazing, what I feel for you, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I’ve yet to figure out how to deal with it. You’d think I’d be a pro at this now, seeing as I have 100+ entries in my journal about you, but I’ve yet to figure this out.

Sometimes I think it’s torture to be “stuck” being just your friend but hey! I consider it a blessing. Who else would I be able to lay there and listen to music with all day long. You’re that person that I enjoy being around, and happiness doesn’t need to be forced. Sometimes I think it’s more special being your friend because you don’t do these things with your girlfriend, and sometimes when you tell me stuff or we have talks at 2-4AM I realize you don’t talk to anybody else that way and it just makes me feel good. I’d like to think it’d hurt to watch you marry someone else in the future, but in a way it might be life’s little way of letting me know that I need to find someone that’s good for me. You’re good for me, but not in the way it needs to be. I need someone to be loyal and faithful and kind and the only way I get that from you is by being your friend. I’d like to think I’ll always have you as my special person even if I find someone else in the future. I like to think that no matter what happens with anyone, I’ve got you. Even when we don’t marry and find our own people, it’s for the best. Of course I’d love to wake up beside your face every morning, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to love you and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m loving you by being here for you, and I’m loving you by not running away from my feelings. It’s not always easy pretending and I do it all the time, for you. I don’t want you to be lonely, I want you to have someone to talk to, always. I want you to have someone that will never leave you by choice and who could do it better than me? I don’t know. I’ve accepted that part, the fact that no matter what happens my love for you crawls right back to me. It’s you. Everything about you is lovable to me. You’re someone I can easily find myself happy with. A relationship would kill us. My feelings would go nuts, I’d get jealous, I’d get crazy, you’d hate me. I can’t get that way with just being friends because I have absolutely no right and I have an easier way of accepting things when I know I have no way of ruining something. A relationship is much easier to kill than a friendship. We’ve been friends for years, on and off maybe, but we’ve been friends. I’ve let you back into my life so many times because I don’t see a problem. I love you, so why the fuck not.

So many people have a problem with the fact that we talk on and off, and the fact that you run away and hide from the world and come crawling back. But in all honesty, what business is that of theirs. This is my way of loving you. By letting you come and go as you please. Why should I force you to stay if you want to go, why should I say “either talk forever, or not at all.” You’re my heart. If you want to go, you may go. If you want to come back, you have no doubt in my mind every single right to come back and my arms will be wide open willing to accept you. That actually sucks. Sometimes I think the on and off of feelings will get to be too much, and that I’d eventually need to let go, but why should I? so many people pull that crap. So many people stop being a friend to someone because it’s too hard on themselves to love them. But what about the other person? You never asked for me to be in love with you, you asked for a friend and that’s exactly what I’m going to be to you. I’m not going to let my own emotions get in the way of being a good friend because it isn’t your fault that I feel things for you, neither of us could change it so why let it change us. Loving you is enough for me.

I’m sorry, I’m really ranty right now. I’ve just got so many thoughts, and emotions, and I miss you, the good old times, and I know it’s hard but I just wish I knew what was going to become of us. I get scared that one day we’ll stop talking and we won’t start up again. We don’t ever have to be in a relationship, and if one day you decide you no longer want a friendship and even a relationship that might turn into a ‘relationshit’, I know that I’ll still love you with my whole heart to the best of my ability and I’ll remember you and I’ll be happy.  I love you and thank you for being one of God’s greatest gifts.