couple

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Someone better.

Published 08/24/2014 by Neds Rocillo

How do we know if we deserve someone better?

Honestly, I don’t really know the answer. One of the mistakes I keep doing in my life is settling for less. I always settle for something less especially when it comes to relationships. I would always make excuses to why I don’t deserve the best where in fact, we all deserve nothing but only the best, right?

Have you ever heard of the lines:

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

“You don’t deserve someone like me.”

“The timing is wrong. Maybe someday.”

Thank God I haven’t heard any of those and hopefully not because if I do I’m gonna slap that person in the face and dump him right away and tell him that it’s BS because he just got those lines on romantic flicks which is undeniably and totally gay. And I think “You deserve better” line is synonymous to “I don’t want to hurt you, I want you to be happy but I don’t love you anymore”.

Recently, I realized that I have always been on the wrong end of unequal relationships and believe me, it feels terrible. I know that feelings of worthlessness, neediness and confusion suck. However, life has still it’s own way of making things funny. We may experience a lot of situations, heartaches and nonsense attachments but one thing is for sure, not all relationship ends in the same painful fashion. 

Yes my dear, there are lots of happy and healthy relationships out there so believe that you deserve one. 🙂 Love is not something we have to rush. Rush relationships are usually hit by accidents and just end. Make sense? 

Last night, a friend of mine asked me how do I have the guts to just shut people out of my life, let people leave if they want to or just move on after a breakup. Well here’s my answer, whenever people leave, I would always think that they’re actually doing me a huge favor. There’s this quote that says, “Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having”.

I hate hearing girls say that “I love him and the way he makes me feel.”  whenever they’re asked why do they want their guy back. He’s your boyfriend and how do boyfriends generally try to make their girls feel? Don’t you think you deserve someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated? 🙂 Don’t you realize that the person you haven’t met and would want to spend the rest of their life with you will do anything and his best to take your pain away instead of making it worse?

I bet you never thought of it that way because you are too busy going gaga about him. And when we’re crazy about someone, we usually tend to be blind. When I ended my relationship two months ago with the guy who keeps on saying he loves me but doesn’t do anything to prove it to me, I asked myself and maybe you should ask yourself too: Why go the rest of your life getting less than you give? When you do not get what you give then it’s time to give that relationship a cold, hard evaluation. This doesn’t apply on romantic relationships only okay?

This is why I said people are doing me a huge favor whenever they leave me. Because they may be closing their doors but they are also opening another for me. An open door where the right people are and the people I truly deserve, someone better.

<3,

Neds

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Vulnerable

Published 06/23/2014 by Neds Rocillo

Isn’t it amazing how a person who once was a stranger, suddenly meant the world to you? but what if, just what if, you felt that he’s not the one you deserve and that you deserve better?

You know at this age, the worst thing we can do to ourselves is to fall for someone harder than they fall for us. And if you’d ask me if I’m the one falling harder? the answer is yes. I’m always the one who loves more. I guess, that’s my thing.

Do you guys believe that communication is the key to a lasting relationship? For me, communication is as important as trust. But what would you do if your partner isn’t communicating? I’m in a relationship with this guy and I feel that I always frustrate him whenever I open up about how I feel. I want to be honest and I just want to tell him everything that’s going on in my mind because I believe that he’s the one I’m supposed to be telling everything. I’m not the typical girl who would open up to her friends about her relationship problems. So whenever I feel we have a problem, I would always talk to him because I’m under the impression that people in a relationship are supposed to solve problems by discussing them.

But somehow, our discussions would usually turn into arguments. And it would come to a point where both of us would have no idea what the initial discussion was about. The conversation would have turned so many corners that we’d need a map to get out. And the argument would usually end not understanding each others feelings. I realized that I have to stay away from having any discussion about anything that would upset him or me. I agree with almost everything he wants until now that I realized, I’m living his life not mine.

I’m now afraid.. afraid to communicate, to show my vulnerability and believe me, its a lonely place to be. But my love is stronger than my loneliness. A relationship isn’t about leaving when something goes wrong. It’s about being there for the good and the bad. I believe that we’ll just have to work through this. I hope I’m not wrong that love is strong, love is kind, and love sticks around.

Choose the man who…

Published 05/28/2014 by Neds Rocillo

1. Isn’t afraid to say I love you.

      Fact: All girls want a guy who says I love you every night and proves it everyday.

2. Loves and respects you as much as he loves and respects his mother.

       Fact: How a guy handles his lady is a reflection of the type of bond he has with his mother.

3. Isn’t too proud to admit he doesn’t want to lose you.

        Fact: The sad reality is that there are guys who are just afraid to tell you that you are not the one he has envisioned for his future, He just doesn’t want to lose your company or the comfort of having someone he likes to go out with. You are just easy and “good enough” to fill the time until that special woman comes along. 

4. Listens even when you think he isn’t.

         Fact: A woman is already in love with any man who listens to her.

5. Watches you sleep.

          Fact: When a woman feels safe enough to fall asleep with a guy means that the woman trusts them enough not to hurt them.

6. Kisses you on the forehead.

           Fact: One kiss on the forehead is sweeter than a thousand kiss on the lips. No lust but full of love and respect.

7. Would rather cut off his hands than put them on you.

           Fact: If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. Always earn the respect you deserve.

8. Who isn’t too ashamed to keep calling you when you won’t take his calls.

           Fact: You want that. Aren’t you?

9. Can never refer to you as “the one who got away” because he always knew he couldn’t live without you.

            Fact: A real man never stops showing a girl how much she means to him even after he’s got her.

10. Will stand up for you no matter what.

            Fact: A man has two options in a relationship:

                       a.) Stand Up and be the man she needs or

                        b.) Sit Down so she can see the man behind him.

11. Will learn something new for you.

             Fact: A man who learns everyday would definitely teach his woman new lessons in life.

12. Brings out the best in you.

              Fact: We all want to be with someone who brings out the best in us and not the stress in us.

13. Respects your family and friends as much as he respects you.

Fact: He must love or at least respect the people you love.

14. Doesn’t just text you, but rather, will pick up the phone and call you because he needs to hear your voice.

                 Fact: He’s really into you.

15. Who shows you his softer side, and admits the things he’s most afraid of.

                 Fact: The man trust you enough to admit that he’s also afraid of some things. And he’s already giving you a part of him that you could possibly break; his heart.

16. Thinks you’re pretty without makeup.

                Fact: He loves you just the way you are.

17. Is patient with you.

                Fact: Love is patient.

18. Wants to show you off to the world whether you’re in sweats or an evening gown.

Fact: When a guy wants to show you off to the world when you think you are at your worst, he sees you differently.

19. Who speaks with love and not anger.

                Fact: Nobody wants a person who makes his mouth work faster than his brain, right?

20. Who doesn’t need to be told you need him, he can just tell.

                Fact: A real woman can do it all by herself BUT a real man won’t let her.

This post doesn’t want girls to think twice about their guy. Most guys aren’t showy so give him time or try to read between the lines. I also understand that girls have their “dream” guys. But I would rather pick the right guy rather than my dream guy. Girls, always remember that a real man knows what we need so stop focusing on what you “want”. If you focus too much on what you “wanted”, you can become blind to truly see him when he finally arrives.

And to all the boys out there, MAN UP! and love her UNCONDITIONALLY.

Thanks for reading! 😉

He loves me or He loves me not.

Published 05/27/2014 by Neds Rocillo

1. Someone who sees the best in you.

If you were lucky enough to grow up with healthy parents, you have experienced the feeling of having someone who has always looked at your good qualities. Many of us missed that experience. You will be a lucky person if you have found a mate who is always looking at your ‘silver lining’. Too often today people are more than willing to judge you by your errors, not by your potential.

2. Someone who gives you the benefit of the doubt.

There are so many times in your life when you need that little edge, that little opportunity to take just that extra step. It can seem as if your efforts are going nowhere and although you want to keep moving forward, there are so many negatives staring you in the face. That person who knows things could go either way for you but takes that leap to believe you will make it is the person who is more valuable to you than gold.

3. Someone who watches over you.

We all need a guardian angel who is there, waiting to catch us if we stumble and fall, ready to pave the way for you when you cannot get moving. There are people who love you who do just that. There are people who do not make a big deal out of saving your bacon. Do you know who they are?

4. Someone to watch you back.

You never know these days who is waiting to catch you off guard, to make sure you don’t do well, to sabotage your efforts. You like to think that people will rejoice when you do well. Many don’t. If someone ‘has your back’ and runs interference for you when you are trying to run the gauntlet through life, give that person a big ‘thanks’ plus lots of your attention.

5. The person who tells you we all make mistakes.

I’m sure you all agree with me with this. We hate to be around that judgmental, harsh person who reminds us, ‘I told you so’, when things so south. We don’t need anyone else telling us what we already know. On the other hand there are people who just let us know that the only way any of us learn is through experience. When you have really ended up in the dumper and blew it, stay close to the one who knows that the person who hasn’t done anything wrong hasn’t done anything much.

6. The person who gives you advice from the heart, not from the head.

When the situation gets rough and some big decisions need to be made, it’s fine to have people outline the pros and cons of a problem and give you ‘head’ answers. But if you need a push sometimes to tip the scales, you always listen to this person who knows you must do what will let you live with yourself and have self respect.

7. The person who won’t be the ‘yes man’ who agrees with you

No one who loves you is going to give you the green light and tell you to let it rip if it’s clearly going to be bad for you. It’s sad that often you surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear. The one who loves you will tell you to get help for a drinking or drugging problem, to stop the extramarital affair, and to be a good and decent person.

8. Someone who tells you to knock back, smell the roses, and enjoy life part of the time.

If you are a person who is a real performer and doer, there are likely to be people around you who enjoy the fruits of your labor and want you to do even more. Sometimes you may even see yourself as only valuable when you are giving, doing, and performing. Listen to the person who tells you that life is short and you need breaks. That is the person who is looking out for you and your health.

9. The one who smiles at you and means it.

The person who loves you looks at you with eyes that smile and mean it. Too many people give you that slick smile, that quick pat on the back, and then forget that you even exist. The eyes are the windows of our soul and you can read into a person’s smile if it is saying, ‘You are a fine person and I want to be with you as long as possible’. Don’t fall for any phony smile that attracts you off in another direction, only to leave you stranded and alone.

10. Someone who sees you as beautiful, inside and out.

We know we aren’t perfect. There are only too many examples of us looking around and thinking that we have flaws and aren’t like the people on television. The person who truly loves us sees us through eyes of acceptance with no conditions. As you gain a few pounds and your hair gets thin, the person who sees you as attractive, inviting, and appealing is the person who loves you all the way, no strings or demands.

Nowadays, it’s really important to know who loves you. Everything in our society is throw away, and many people have carried that over into the most important relationships in their lives. Think hard and look carefully. People who love you , like comfortable clothes, are easy on the heart, mind, and soul.

And hey! Stop ruining a perfectly good flower when you know he loves you not.