Wishlist.

Published 11/17/2012 by Neds Rocillo

I used to think wishlists were a bad idea. I used to describe people who have the so-called “wishlists” as materialistic. But I realized that a person wanting something doesn’t really mean being materialistic. right?

Christmas is coming very soon and I’ve seen many people list down what they want for that special day. I thought of writing my very own “wishlist”. At first I was like “Gosh, I want a new phone and/or SLR.”, you know the usual request but it’s not the top of my list and the desire for it wasn’t as big as the first wish I want to be fulfilled: to feel love.

People say love is universal. You can find love anywhere, no matter who you are. For me, love is shared experience. I think there are a lot of people compatible with a person based on attractiveness, personality and shared interests.

You know what, I’ve found love in a hopeless place. haha funny but it’s true. The love I’ve found is hopeless, pointless. I’ve found love in a wrong place at the wrong time.

My love story is unusual but not quite cause some people have the same story as mine. Three years ago, I met a guy at school and I can totally say that  he is absolutely wonderful. I didn’t expect that the stranger I would meet would mean so much to me. We became friends and we used to talk everyday;morning,during and after class, midnight. We spent time just talking and it didn’t really matter what we talked about. We had lively discussions on random things; movies, books, interests, songs, tv series, encouraging words during frustrating situations, clothes/shoes, blogs, etc.

We even enjoy movies together. Filipino movie/foreign movie, comedy/fantasy/animated, romantic/drama it really doesn’t matter. He also taught me the love for books and be part of a different world. I’m happy because I have found someone I can relate to and who understands me well. It was as if I’ve found someone who knows me best. But love is a big cliché. Yes it is. I can’t believe that in one snap everything will change, forever.

Even if we have each other, we don’t really have each other. We are so near yet we are so far. Though we study in the same school, it feels like we are separated by a very big ocean that we can’t even see each other. Hey, let me clear things up, we never talked about feelings for each other, or relationship. We just became friends, he’s a special friend. Everyday, there are people writing wishlist. And here I am trying to write a “wishlist” with two wishes in it: to feel love and to have just one moment with him.

For the last time, I want to touch his face, to hold his hand, to lean my head on his shoulder. I do believe that love is universal but I never thought it would be like this. The special friend left. I admit that in some ways I took him for granted. That’s why I’m surprised how many people take for granted the time they spend with family and friends. What a sad reality. I would love if every tomorrow is another chance but it’s not like that.

Anyway, I’ve learned something that I would really love to share with you. Good love will find us someday. But if we keep on looking for it, it will only keep us waiting. Good love will find us someday til then we should live well, live happy and live free. 🙂 I’m happy that I am finally seeing him happy. And I’m ready to let go, to be happy and to move on. Letting go is loving. True love is selfless and unconditional. Conditional love is not love at all. Everything blossoms in God’s perfect time.

A friend told me, let go and let God.

I can’t wait to be with my whole family again. I miss talking and laughing with them. For now, I’m gonna give my 100% love to my family because I know that they are the ones who will never leave. 🙂

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