Published 10/03/2012 by Neds Rocillo

Right now, what I only feel is pain. Yes, pain. Have you ever had that moment when you can feel the pain in your chest and you want to stop it but there’s nothing you can do? hell yeah, that’s what I’m feeling.. I hate the fact that I can’t even fake a smile. Why does it have to be so hard to let go? can someone teach me please?

A lot of people say that when someone left, I must learn to let go. Unfortunately, all of them are leaving one by one. What am I supposed to do, stand still and watch them walk out of my life just like that? really? is that the best thing to do? What about friendship? What about love? What about being happy?

Making a choice is really hard.. because I want to be with that guy, forever. I’m so happy whenever he’s around and my day is incomplete if I don’t see him and now he left. He stopped being a friend, a buddy, my best friend, my laughing partner, a friend who listens to my stories.. I didn’t choose anyone, he chose to leave…but if I could only turn back time, I will not let this happen but the sad truth is I just can’t. I remember my argument with my ex boyfriend, I told him that maybe we’re not destined for each other and he used to tell me “don’t just follow your destiny, create your own way.”, we tried but it didn’t work. FACT: Losing a friend is harder than losing a boyfriend/girlfriend.

One of the saddest realities in life is that we can’t force anyone to stay if they want to go. We can’t even force anyone to care and love us just because we care and love them. We can’t be perfect for anyone. What hurts the most? you’re trying to be at least good but then we can’t control things, situations, and people. Losing people, losing him as a friend? I didn’t see it coming. “Things fall apart”, and I have to accept the fact that my tears won’t bring back the people I’ve lost, he won’t come back.

Are you guys familiar with the song “I won’t give up” by Jason Mraz? Well, it used to be my favorite song but my situation changed it. Yes, I won’t give up but how will I fight for someone who doesn’t even want to stay in my life? 😥 again, how.. relationship and even friendship are worth fighting for, but I/you can’t be the only one fighting.

I guess, I have to figure it out by myself. I can’t count on anyone now, it doesn’t mean I don’t trust that my other friends could help me, it’s just that I’m not sure who cares and who’s curious. srsly.

He knows he has my heart. He’s right when he said I can’t have everything I want but little did he know, he’s not a want.. he’s a need. :’)

Goodbye for now. See you. Until we meet again.

6 comments on “Rough.

  • Made me teary-eyed. Seriously. 😥 We just couldn’t have it all. You have my shoulders to cry. But for tomorrow, let’s play VB.

      • I’m happy that you forgot about the “rough story” even just for a while.

        I actually read the story again. Same feeling of tears covered my emotions/feelings/thoughts/memories. While reading the post, What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts played in the air. (Would you please do a cover of the song?)

  • Aww. Ate Neds!! *CyberHug* You know, if I’ll tell you my story..

    Whatever it is, it shall pass. It will. How do I know? We’re stepping on the same platform. Letting go is a VERY hard process. We can never ask for someone to stay if they wanted to leave. All the more we should be happy about it because it’s God’s blessing in disguise that someone/something way better is yet for you to meet!

    And Yes, losing a friend is indeed more painful than losing a bf/gf. Give it time. If that person doesn’t want anything from you even friendship, well then, give it to him. Let everything heal in time. You cannot talk to a child if he/she is mad, no matter how welcoming you are. Everything blossoms in God’s perfect time. Right now, Let Go, and Let God. >:D<

    P.S. Try listening to "Love won't quit on us" by MikesChair. Makes me feel better. Hope it would do to you too. ❤

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