One disappointment, One break after another.

Published 06/10/2012 by Neds Rocillo

Why do people have to leave each other?

I used to ask this question to myself. I’ve been left by people I love so much for so many times. Some of them left for a purpose but most of them left for no reason.. and you know what hurts? They never came back to explain why or to even say goodbye..

As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. I’m having a hard time letting go of anything. People, places, moments-even outcomes become objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I’m devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.

But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.

One comment on “One disappointment, One break after another.

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